baby steps

I feel okay. I feel better. Life is moving on. I'm figuring out how to breathe again. Taking baby steps, but steps none the less. I've learned a lot about myself these last few months. Here are my top five lessons for anyone going through a breakup. 


1. Out with the old, in with the new
First, I tend to feel either really up or really down. I'm realizing that I have rarely in my life felt simple contentment. I have been trying my best to figure out why that is and to change it. It's been a bit of an uphill battle. Living in a new country hasn't made the process of finding contentment any easier. My tactics have been to really reach out and meet new people, explore my new surroundings and try new things. New, new and more new. It's all working so far and I can feel myself letting go of the old, old and old. It's just taking time and all I got is time.


2. Find your inner strength 
I've also learned that I'm a lot stronger than I gave myself credit for. I'm proud of myself for all the times I got out of my comfort zone and challenged myself. I can feel myself growing and evolving into a confident woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid of fighting for it.


3. Talk it out
Last, I've learned that sharing and talking to friends really does help. I've always been a deeply private person who preferred to figure things out on my own. I can see now how letting people in and being vulnerable is incredibly therapeutic. I've always been worried about burdening people with my problems. But seeing the way my peeps have stepped up shows me that by opening up I'm actually strengthening friendships. Each talk and email is a chance to learn more about myself and a way to make sense of my feelings.


4. Music is your friend
Music was my constant companion during this roller coaster ride of emotions. Angry music I could scream along with. Music to wallow with. Music to cry to. Music that was reflective and comforting. 


5. It gets better 
There's light at the end of the tunnel. I know what it feels like to think everything is falling apart. I know the emptiness and the hopelessness. Three months of those feelings. Every day. But it gets better. Just like everyone told me it would. The sun shines a little brighter each day that you stay true to yourself. Life moves on and you can to.

(photo from my favorite movie of all time, In the Mood for Love)

Lennon