letting go

He was my North, my South, my East and West,

My working week and my Sunday rest,

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;

I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.

For nothing now can ever come to any good.

- W. H. Auden

I'm letting go.

I love you. I miss you. And for the life of me I can't stop thinking about you. Was any of it true? Did I push you away? Do you still love me? Do you want me back? These are questions I ask myself over and over again. But I know now that I'll never get the answers I want. I can't keep wondering anymore. 

It's not fair that you've moved out and I have been stuck here, in the same spot, afraid to move. I know I'm doing it to myself. I have to stop thinking about what we had, because it's gone. 

I feel like a fool for holding on this long.

I have to let you go. I've been avoiding this for a month and I could probably keep it up forever but I need to finally see reality. 

Thank you for being one of the greatest things that came into my life. Thank you for teaching me so much about myself. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. 

I could never hate you, but I hate that it had to end. I even hate that I can't wish or hope you will come back to me anymore.

I miss you so much and I always will. I hope you accomplish every goal you set for yourself. I hope you figure out everything you were unsure about. And I hope above all that you are happy. 

I wish I could be there to see it all happen. But the reality is, you left me and now it's time for me to let go. I will always love you.